When it's time to DUMP your FRIEMEMIES!?, and What makes a TRUE FRIEND?
"FRIENEMY" what an awkward, idiom that in my opinion the definition is a person who IS your friend that also has a tendency to do shady, bitchy, unfriendly things to you. Talk bad to you, threaten you or even, try to sabotoge things you're involved in, all in sneaky ways. This person may be someone you can hangout with ALL the time, knows yout or THINKS that they know you inside out.. You talk to them nightly or daily, and you have lots of thinngs in common, have fun together and generally that would be a GREAT friendship right?........WRONG!! in a world where you basically compete for everything it's hard to know who your TRUE friends are, or IS it?
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| UPN/BET's "Girlfriends"!! |
I was taught that you treat others how you want to be treated. But when your so-called friend is saying snide little remarks "under her breath" about you. Or Even to you face for example i had a frienemy who asked me " Do i have any "Black" hair products?" WOW now keep in mind that I am an African American woman with naturally long thick hair, i am BLESSED by the Lord and my family's genes. In my bloodlines there are Caucasian and Native Americans too. So with that said i use what is right for my hair!! So anyways i was insulted and pissed off. That she's ask such an ignorant question! So i told her " I DO have Black hair products!" i wanted to say "what the hell is your problem and what do u mean BLACK products!?"WOW!clearly shes jelous lowkey, and has her own issues. IF she's always calling you ONLY when she wants to go out to the club n shake her ass, and be seen that's a frenemy, Than there's the friend that just needs to "ride with you" just cause I got my car pay my own bills WORKING towards my own apt dosen't mean that i gotta be "the taxi" WOW this does not make one a "frienemy". It take me a long time to trust and open up to women at this stage in my life. Me being the strong independant woman i am i am so focused on accomplishing my goals i TRY not to be to much into drama and surround myself with women that have similar values,morals and interests as myself but of coarse you may come across that one person who you THINK is your friend, tries to compete with you and bring you down in sneaky ways, like auditioning for a part in a play and KNOWING that your into music as well dosen't tell you a thing about it! Now i can guess what you are thinking " duh it's her oppourtunity why should she tell you!?" well i found out the hard was unfortunatly. But now that i am older and wiser in this situation you should DO YOU, true it may have not been the best idea not to tell your friend but it's YOUR oppourtunity and if it's there rise to the occasion and take it for all it's worth!
MY idea of what a TRUE FRIEND is:
1) Trustworthy-keeps your secrets,don't have to worry about her talking behind your back
2) Dependable-when you need them they are there! in MOST situations!
3) Nonjudgemental!
4)FUN!! have things in common obviously!!
5)Honesty is HUGE if u can't be honest with me about things than you aren't a true friend
6)
you can count on her no matter what, to talk to you and advise you (if she's good at giving it)
MY idea of what a TRUE FRIEND is:
1) Trustworthy-keeps your secrets,don't have to worry about her talking behind your back
2) Dependable-when you need them they are there! in MOST situations!
3) Nonjudgemental!
4)FUN!! have things in common obviously!!
5)Honesty is HUGE if u can't be honest with me about things than you aren't a true friend
6)
you can count on her no matter what, to talk to you and advise you (if she's good at giving it)
1. She’s a master manipulator. They don’t want what’s best for you. They want what’s best for them. But somehow they’ll convince you that what you want is what’s best for them, and what’s best for you. So really, what you wanted was wrong, what she wants is what you really want. You just didn’t know it. Confused yet? You should be. This is what a frenemy does. They will switch everything around, and have you changing your mind before you even realize it. They are master manipulators.
2. She’s in constant competition with you. Over guys. Over clothes. Over grades. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that she is winning and you are losing. And she’ll make sure that you know that. And you should be happy for her, right? After all, she’s your friend. Plus you don't want to appear being jelous of your friend! It doesn’t matter that she had no interest in entering the singing competition until AFTER she heard about if from you.
3. She’s only around when she needs something. You haven’t heard from her in weeks, but now, suddenly she needs someone to go to the club with or ride with her to a HIGHLY dangerous nightclub cause she isn't ready to go home she's GOT to party till 6am with the "Baddest in the City!" You’re just going cause obviously it wouldnt be safe for her to go alone . And she’ll return the favor, won’t she? HA please i won't be the one that's not what i'd want her to do for my anyways! Too bad she didn’t answer your texts/phone calls/bbms/Facebook messages when you needed her.
4. She can compliment you and insult you at the same time. She tries on YOUR clothes and says "This looks great on ME! ” “It’s so great, the way you don’t care about the way you look when you leave the house.” WOW your hair looks better like THAT!" You get the point. And so do they.
5. She’s never honest. You’ve caught her in a lie more than once. It’s little stuff. But it does sort of add up. Doesn’t it?
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